I Can't Escape The Voices
by The.Angry.Ox
Summary: This is a song inspired fanfic, about Haru and his Black side. Warning! There will be self-harm, mature language, the slightest bit of gore and, a touch of yaoi fluff (boy on boy if you don't know what Yaoi means) so if the follow offends/disgusts you please do not read! If that is what you enjoy then I hope you love it!
1. The Spiral into Madness Begins

**AN**: Well first off let me get the usual nonsense over with, no I sadly don't own fruits basket or it's characters, blah, blah, blah... Now this is a song inspired fanfic, about Haru and his Black side.

**Warning**! There will be self-harm, mature language, the slightest bit of gore and, a touch of yaoi fluff (boy on boy if you don't know what Yaoi means) so if the follow offends/disgusts you please do not read! :D otherwise I hope you enjoy! And don't hate me for the taunt I will be putting my baby (Hatsuharu is my favorite character ever so I call him my baby) through. *dodges multiple thrown keyboards* Okay! Okay! I'll shut up and go! Enjoy! *hides under my computer desk*

_I can't remember what started the screaming, it's been too long. I don't hear anything but his voice, my voice, twisted into that dark mocking tone telling me this is how I will live the rest of my life. His voice will be all that I know. I __**can't**__ have that happen. I __**won't**__ let it happen. I'll __**die**__ before I allow __**him**__ to take control. _

*One week before*

"Nothing could ever be better than this." Haru thought contently as he lay in the wild grass with a sleeping Yuki curled tightly against his side, while the warm spring sun shined down on their pale bare limbs and flat toned stomachs. Haru loved when they came out to Yuki's secret base, here they could do what ever they liked without fear that someone would catch them. The ox didn't like that Yuki wanted to hide their love but he understood the need to keep it hidden. If their tyrant of a god found out of their relationship they were sure to pay for their happiness with a very heavy price.

Haru sat up on his hands smiling fondly down on the angelic boy who had his face buried in his stomach, "Yuki?" He said softly trying to gently awaken the rat so he would not wake up swinging a fist. "Please wake up my prince." The ox cooed down at the rat that was beginning to stir a bit at the sound of his knight's voice, "..nnuuhh.." Yuki complained in his half asleep state. "Come on." Haru lightly nudged his side with his hand, "We need to get up and get dressed, I have to be back at the main house in few hours." Yuki looked up at him blinking with tired confused eyes, "Huh? Get dressed..." His mind seemed to awaken when he recalled the events that had occurred a few hours before, "Oh.. um yeah, clothes would be nice." His pale milky cheeks slowly began to be stained with blush as he thought about how his bare body was touching Haru's even though they have been touching far more intimately before. Haru smiled at his shyness finding the cutest thing he'd ever seen. He leaned down a bit, kissing his forehead gingerly, "Come on, get up." He said pushing him to raise to his feet. Yuki shyly stood hiding himself from view with his hands, "Haruuu~!" He whined as he saw his lover staring right at his naked body, "Stop looking at me like that! It's embarrassing!" Haru chuckled at his embarrassment, "How is it embarrassing after what we did?" He couldn't help but grin at the porcelain prince that he could now call his. "I don't know, it just is!" He turned his flustered face away from him slipping on his boxers and pants. Haru smiled at him, as he located his own clothes dressing himself with a tranquil smile on his face. Today made it eight months exactly. Today was the anniversary of the happiest day of Haru's life, but for whatever reason he felt something was amiss about his lover today. He didn't know what could be wrong but it gave him an unpleasant sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

_"What other choice do I have?"_ Yuki thought to himself as he recalled what his god had told him last night. _"Break the stupid cow's heart. He's an idiot to think he can make __**my**__ Yuki happy."_ Akito's sickening sweet voice rang in Yuki's ears causing him to shake in terror. Yuki had brought him out here to leave him, but Haru had remembered that today made it eight months. He must have thought Yuki wanted to celebrate, which he did but he couldn't ignore the taunting voice that was haunting his mind.

_"Do you love him Yuki?" Akito had inquired mercilessly, "Do you undress yourself for him?" Yuki silently shook holding his arms around his sides as the God seemed to look over his head. "That's not love my sweet Yuki." Akito cooed sickeningly as he began to touch the rat's cheek making Yuki flinch at his icy touch. The God's lifeless eyes met Yuki's as he leaned in to his ear to whisper, "Do you think he's the only one who can make you feel like that? I could give you the same feeling." With his toxic sugar-laced voice. Yuki shivered, still unable to find a voice to speak with, only small terrified whimpers and squeaks escaped his throat as Akito's frail hands brushed under his chin and the tyrant continued to speak, "That fool doesn't love you, __**I am the only one who loves you!**__" Akito's voice snarled his voice quickly changing into pure rage as he wrenched up his bangs with every drop of strength the sickly God could manage. Yuki let out a cry of pain as he fell into obedience at Akito's hand. "N-n-n.. y-yo-u're wro-.." He could barely speak the words he would pay the price for, "What did you say you pathetic vermin?" Akito snapped twisting his silver locks violently as he glared upon Yuki's pained face. "You can't argue with me! I am above you! I am your god!" The god screamed into Yuki's face fully enraged. "Tomorrow you will heartless leave the foolish ox. You will tell him he is a fool to think he could love you. You will do this or I will cut out his mislead heart and give it to you before it's even stopped beating." With that last growl of commands Akito abruptly pushed Yuki to the floor leaving him to sob at the task he must play out to save his knight in shining armor._

"Earth to Yuki~!" Haru giggled waving a hand in front of the spaced out rat's face. "Oh.. Sorry." Yuki nervously laughed flashing one of his famous hollow smiles, "Guess I was just in a bit of a daze." Haru frowned at this faked smile seeing straight through it. "What's wrong?" The ox asked his eyes growing worried for the boy he loved, "You've been kinda weird all day." He explained his concern. Yuki avoided his eyes, _"If I look at his eyes I won't be able to keep myself composed." _Haru watched his lovers expression change as he waited for his answer. All the emotion in Yuki's face drained away, "I leaving you." Yuki said flatly staring at his and Haru's feet. Haru felt his heart drop to his stomach, his peaceful happy world suddenly sent into a downward spiral. "Wha-..." He couldn't even finish that one word. Devastation was written all over Hatsuharu's face, his grey eyes became glassy with tears. Yuki turned away from him, he couldn't face Haru as he did this, "I brought you here to leave you. I didn't want all that to happen. I'm sorry Haru but it's over." _"This is just a nightmare. Yes, a nightmare." _Haru thought as Yuki spoke in a cold, emotionless voice that reminded him of Hatori. "Are you not going to say anything?" Yuki inquired meekly slightly glancing through his bangs at the ox, who had, without realizing it himself, fallen to his knees on the ground. Although his grey eyes held tears that threatened to fall to his lap they, however, didn't hold emotion.

Before Yuki could say or do anything, Haru laugh out an array of insane laughter. It sounded as though he had lost his mind. "I get it!" He laughed harder holding his sides as he buckled over on himself as the laughter carried on. "It's just a nightmare!" He laughed hysterically, "I'm going to wake up in a minute and you'll be asleep next to me in your bed!" Yuki shook his head, "H-Haru... This is not a dream." His voice wavered indicating the impending sobs that were about to escape from his throat. "Of course it is!" Haru continued laughing like a mad man, "My Yuki would never do this!" Yuki felt his stomach turn, _"I wouldn't if I didn't have to." _

Yuki shoved all emotion down, he had to do this for Haru, it is all to save him. "No." His voice was cold again, "This is real, we're done! I don't want to be with you anymore Hatsuharu!" Haru's face snapped up to look up at Yuki as he heard his full name from the rat. Yuki never calls him by his full name, not unless he's angry with him. "...This is real..?" The ox's voice was a faint whisper as he slowly realized this was no nightmare, this was a living hell! _"Oh no~, you piece of ass is running away." _Black Haru mocked in his mind. Haru curled in on himself where he was on the ground, "...It's real..." His faint broken voice said again.

With tears falling down his face Hatsuharu looked up to his prince, grabbing the back of his sleeve as he had millions of times before, "...Why? Why are you doing this?" Haru pleaded for an answer to the destruction of his entire happiness._ "You're so pathetic!"_ Black Haru laughed at White Haru's misery. "Because I don't want to be stuck with the idiot ox for the rest of my life!" Yuki couldn't hold back the sobs on his last remark, as he cried he shook Haru's weak grip on his shirt running away from him back to Shigure's house.

Haru hadn't moved for hours. The sun now drooped lazily in the late evening sky causing a slight chill in that the ox always found to be the coziest of weather. Normally this sort of weather made Haru excited for the upcoming fall. That isn't the case today. Today which once was the best day of the young cow's life much rather could now be called his death. There was no more purpose in Haru's life without the rat, his only thing he ever wanted to do was make Yuki happy. _"You have been played as a fool." _His own twisted voice rang in his head. _"Yet again the rat made an imbecile out of the ox." _Haru wished Black Haru was a real person so he could punch him in the throat. _"Shut up. Just shut up." _He said in his mind to the sinister Black Haru. In response Black Haru let out a devious chuckle, _"You truly are a fool! You actually thought the rat loved you!? You!? No one can fully love a dim-wit like you!"_ The long awaited sobs finally broke out of Hatsuharu, "This isn't a nightmare. He's gone..." Haru cupped his face in his hands muffling his cries.

**AN**: Well here is the first chapter of I don't know how many. R&R if you would like me to continue. Also the song that inspired this story is "Voices" by Crown the Empire!^^


	2. Watchful Eyes

**AN**: Whoop! Yep I'm back finally!^^ I've got you a small clip from Akito's POV that hopefully will answer the unanswered. Please do enjoy! This one is going to be short and not so sweet, just like Akito. Oh and I don't own Fruits Basket, it's a shame really, I know.

**WARNING!** There could possibly be strong language and suggestive sexual content, only touches but still if you dislike violence and vulgarity please don't read. Thank you and enjoy! :)

_"It's my duty to watch over them, every last one of them, they're all mine, especially my darling sweet Yuki."_

*One day prier to talking to Yuki*

Akito had made a habit of following Yuki for a long time. There was no way he was going to leave his Yuki unsupervised. So here he found himself following behind the rat as he made his way to a public park that placed mid way between the main house and Shigure's home._ "Where could you be going?"_ The God thought as he snuck from the growing shadows of the late summer evening. With narrowed suspicious eyes Akito saw snowy hair appear from the distance. His foolish ox was walking toward his beloved Yuki with shining loving grey eyes and open welcoming arms, _"What is this?"_ The tyrant of a God bit his tongue to bark out an order to have the two. He wanted to know the meaning of this meeting before he saw it explained before his black, lifeless eyes. Hatsuharu closed the distance between him Yuki by pulling the rat tightly into his arm as to embrace a lover. Akito watched the ox touch what was not his in silent rage. "We've both been so busy this week." The spiky haired boy said softly to Yuki as he held him, "I know." Yuki let a small peaceful laugh leave his lips as he clung to the ox as if he was in need of this contact. "I've been so caught up in things with the student council and school that I've been too tried for anything else. I'm really sorry Haru." The rat apologized to the kind hearted ox as he looked up into his deep understanding eyes, "It's fine." Haru smiled in a way that made Akito want to strike him down. Without another word Yuki leaned up to Hatsuharu's lips kissing them lightly at first until Hatsuharu pushed the kiss farther by pulling Yuki by the hips to press his smaller frame against his own. _"Disgusting!"_ Akito wanted to scream at the two abominations as he fought away his nausea in which he believed was provoked from the scene before him. The God quickly fled to return his fortress inside the Sohma walls.

Once returned to his home Akito let a fit of rage take him. He threw ceramic pots and bowls about his room leaving their shattered and broken pieces about the floor. Coming down from these fits was always the worst, the fragile God is thrown into coughing fit that bring up blood and vomit if he has any contains in his stomach at all. Akito's quickly diminishing body could not withstand his own rage very well anymore, with his cough and retching, gathered the attention of Hatori who assumed the mess of Akito's room and the state of his health was nothing out of the ordinary to the stoic dragon.

Hatori didn't question what had triggered Akito's rage as he dabbed the corner of his mouth with a cloth. The dragons cold piercing eye glanced over his God in silent examination clearly aware something was weighing heavily on his mind, "I'll send in a maid to clean up this mess." He said emotionlessly not meeting with the God's eyes. "Go get Shigure on the phone." Akito commanded as if Hatori hadn't said a thing. "I wish to speak to him." The God's empty voice informed.

The dragon of course obeyed his God, obediently Hatori brought the phone to Akito with Shigure already on the line, "Thank you Hatori you may leave." Akito waved him away so he could speak with the dog that awaited him on the line without ease dropping.

"Now then, Shigure I need a favor of you." The tyrant speak kindly to his beloved dog as he recalled the sickening image of the two boys kissing. "Yes? And what might that be?" The dog inquired wanting to hear his God's wish. "You're going to bring me to Yuki. There's something I must discuss with him." Shigure nodded to himself although it wasn't known to Akito. "Of course I'll bring you to him tomorrow." Shigure said cheerfully before saying his goodbyes to Akito. "Hehe now I get out of my deadline for that manuscript!" The perverse novelist giggled as he gleefully skipped to his office.

The next day Shigure made Tohru and Kyo go grocery shopping for the house even though they didn't really need to restock. Akito would want to talk alone with Yuki, the dog knew this much as he welcomed Akito into the house before calling in Yuki, "Oh Yuki~!" The dog called for the rat's presence. "What is it?" A slightly agitated voiced called in response as footfall could be heard nearing the stairs. "Just come here please." The dog didn't yell as loudly due to Yuki being closer than he had before. There was an audible sigh from Yuki as he jogged down the stairs. There was a hitch in his breath when his wide violet eyes caught sight of his God. "He's just here to talk for a little bit. No need to get worked up about it." Shigure assured clearly not worried Akito would hurt Yuki althought his track record says otherwise. "If either of you need me I'll be in my office."

Silence fall over the God and the Rat in the absence of Shigure. Yuki already trembled where he stood as the dead, black eyes of Akito seemed to bear into his very soul and being. The Rat wanted to scream and flee far from the tyrant before him, yet at the same time he wanted to smile and give him a hug. So many contradicting actions and ideas toward this evil entity buzzed in his mind it felt like it could explode. He hated this person with every fiber of his being yet the cursed bond him to love this creature, whom once confided him from the world in that black room. Yuki felt his skin crawl as the silence hammered on until Akito finally seemed to have found his voice, "Hello Yuki." His tone was that of a poisonous flower, sweet and luring but fatal. "Now shall you say what you've been hiding or shall I?" Akito inquired from where he sat sipping at a cup of tea Shigure had prepared from him. "H-hiding?" Yuki stuttered unsure as to what he could mean. "Now now Yuki... Would going back to your '_room_' jog your memory?"

"P-please.. No.. I just don't know what you mean." Yuki held his sides nervously pulling at his shirt's hem as Akito's glaze chilled him to the core. "You pest!" Akito spat his hot tea into Yuki's face causing him to cry out in pain as it scorched his eyes. "You don't belong to that stupid Ox!" Akito growled looming over the crumbling Yuki as he fall to the ground below Akito, "You're _mine_." The God said sternly as he looked down upon his pet rat. "You've been mine since we were children, ever since you mother _gave_ you to _me_!" The angered God was yelling now. "You disgusting vermin!" Akito kicked Yuki in the side as hard a his weak body could manage. "Letting that pervious ox touch you!" Akito wretched him up to his feet to stand in front of him. He let him stand there sobbing for a moment before cruelly laughing at at his pain. "Say Yuki... Answer me this, do you love him?" Abruptly Akito cut his laughter off to ask this while his bony hand cupped the rat's cheek. Yuki, however, only looked down at as feet as Akito awaited an answer not to come. "Speak when spoken to!" Akito barked slapping Yuki's cheek causing him to yelp although he wasn't strong enough at this point in time to truly hurt him. "Do you love him Yuki?" Akito had inquired mercilessly, "Do you undress yourself for him?" Yuki silently shook holding his arms around his sides as the God seemed to look over his head. "That's not love my sweet Yuki." Akito cooed sickeningly as he began to touch the rat's cheek again making Yuki flinch at his icy touch. The God's lifeless eyes met Yuki's as he leaned in to his ear to whisper, "Do you think he's the only one who can make you feel like that? I could give you the same feeling." With his toxic sugar-laced voice. Yuki shivered, still unable to find a voice to speak with, only small terrified whimpers and squeaks escaped his throat as Akito's frail hands brushed under his chin and the tyrant continued to speak, "That fool doesn't love you, I am the only one who can love you!" Akito's voice snarled his voice quickly changing into pure rage as he wrenched up his bangs with every drop of strength the sickly God could manage. Yuki let out a cry of pain as he fell into obedience at Akito's hand. "N-n-n.. y-yo-u're wro-.." He could barely speak the words he would pay the price for, "What did you say you pathetic vermin?" Akito snapped twisting his silver locks violently as he glared upon Yuki's pained face. "You can't argue with me! I am above you! I am your god!" The god screamed into Yuki's face fully enraged. "Tomorrow you will heartless leave the foolish ox. You will tell him he is a fool to think he could love you. You will do this or I will cut out his mislead heart and give it to you before it's stopped beating." With that last growl of commands Akito abruptly pushed Yuki to the floor stomping into Shigure's office, leaving him to sob at the task he must play out to save his knight in shining armor.

**AN**: Okay! That ended up being much longer that I first intended! Oh well! More for you, right? ^_^ Anyway~ I'm posting this right after finishing it so there will be errors and grammar mistakes right now, but not to fear! I will revise it on a later date! Again Thank you for reading and please R&R what you think!


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